The Immigrant Experience
What is the psychological impact on first and second generation immigrants? Sadia Saleem considers an increasingly complex issue affecting our community.
By Dr. Sadia Saleem, Psy.D., C.Psych.
While Samar is on the phone to her family across the globe in a different time zone, she recalls the sights, sounds, smells and memories that have been part of her life. She hangs up the phone and is suddenly back in Toronto speaking fluent English to her husband about the endless winter, grocery shopping, cooking, laundry, paying bills and arranging playdates for her children.
This transition which many immigrants to Canada experience on a daily basis is almost akin to time travel, as they move from one world to the other with the flip of a phone or the touch of an email. It is the rich experience of speaking two languages, having two cultures, and being in touch with two sets of people from different parts of the world.
However, as enriching and exciting as this experience can be, it is not without a sense of loss – of the familiar, of knowing one’s surroundings, and of fully belonging.
While many immigrants face common conflicts as they adapt to this new country, immigration experiences vary widely: for some, the immigration process is smooth; for others, it is marked with stress and pressure.
First Generation Immigrants
The first generation to immigrate usually do so for safety and security, family reasons, business, or seeking a better quality of life, including health and education. These factors play a role in the immigration experience. Also, the number of years in the new country, language acquisition and fluency, ability to find employment, family and community support are all factors affecting that experience.
As exciting as a new country can be, many soon miss familiar things taken for granted in the home country and no longer available in the new one. Immigrants usually make this biggest move of their lives hoping for a better quality of life and a more secure future for their children. But one of the biggest losses they experience is the family system and extended community support. Most immigrants come from cultures with a sense of interconnectedness and interdependence. Once here in Canada, where they find themselves part of a world where individualism and independence are valued, they may experience loneliness and disconnection.
New immigrant parents are so busy trying to build a life in a new country that often they lack the time to tend to the emotional needs of their children. The needs for safety, security and financial stability take precedence, the process of child rearing suffers and their parenting is stressed.
Immigrant parents are busy trying to make ends meet, sometimes working three jobs, other times working at wages and positions much lower than their level of education would warrant in their home coutries. One of the parenting challenges in immigrant families in Canada and the United States is their need to continue teaching their cultural values to their children. In their home country, this task was jointly done by the culture at large, by extended family members, and societal support systems.
In the new country, families have the sole responsibility of imparting these beliefs and values, in the face of competing mainstream Canadian cultural influences. Hence these stressed parents may adopt a more restrictive, conservative stance than would generally be the case. They also tend to retain the values of their country of origin prevalent at the time they immigrated to Canada, and consequently do not recognize or experience changes which might be occurring in their home country.
Ironically, immigrant parents tend to become more rigid and ethnocentric. The result can be described as a ‘cultural freeze’. These immigration forces on new Canadian parents can be especially problematic for children trying to establish their Canadian identity as well as their country of origin culture.
Second Generation Immigration Issues
The experience of second generation immigrants is commonly described as ‘being caught between cultures’, ‘negotiating between two worlds’ or ‘walking a tightrope’. Most second generation individuals feel as though they are living in two separate worlds: at home and at school. These children develop two sets of behaviours to deal with the two contexts. This results in high stress levels on second generation children facing an ever shifting sense of self.
One of the problems second generation immigrants face is a lack of parental role models in terms of dealing with the new culture. They must navigate on their own and take cues from peers rather than their parents. Often immigrant parents are oblivious to their children’s struggles, including dealing with peer pressure, and different expectations and values at home versus school.
Second generation children do acculturate faster to the new country since they are dealing with the new Canadian system and people on a regular basis. Consequently, parents sometimes start living through their children and everything they struggled to give their children, such as a better quality of life, now becomes an expectation. If children do not respond accordingly, parents feel let down in terms of their hopes and aspirations, and this causes more family strain.
Second generation children also face pressure and cultural conflict in education and occupational achievement. Parental pressure to maintain cultural values, family bonds and control is difficult.
In particular, the boundaries and expectations for dating and marriage are often at polar extremes between the two generations. Second generation children, often describing feelings of loneliness and pain regarding these cultural conflicts, might exhibit rebellion, deception, or acceptance of mainstream Canadian cultural values as a way to cope. How these children or teenagers either rebel against or accept cultural values is often linked to the degree of support for acculturation to the new country which they get from their families, as well as individual self-esteem. Depending on the complex interplay of these factors, there is potential for problems with guilt, shame and undue anxiety on second generation children.
However, the most prevalent coping method employed by second generation children is adapting to the immediate cultural context in which they find themselves. At home they behave in accordance with rules of conduct present there; outside the home they behave according to Canadian values and rules of conduct. This chamelion-like experience should not be seen as dysfunctional or as psychological instability. Rather it should be seen as psychological flexibility that is particularly adaptive for second generation individuals. Also, under the more fluid sense of self is usually a more stable internal core which keeps these individuals grounded.
Intergenerational Conflict
Intergenerational conflict can be a major source of stress among immigrant parents and their children. Usually both generations are so busy with their own struggles in adjusting and defining themselves that neither has the energy to support the other.
Communication is usually one-sided: for example, parents speak to their children who are then not given space to respond. By the time they reach adolescence, feeling they cannot share their experiences with their parents, they become distant and rebellious, which makes parents more authoritarian. It’s a never-ending cycle.
Maintaining a Healthy Balance
One of the most helpful coping skills for first generation individuals is to build supportive social networks for themselves. It is important to stay in touch with friends and family at home (via email, telephone, webcam), and to make frequent visits home, if possible.
Secondly, trying to connect with people from their own culture in the host country is also important so they can share common struggles. Taking part in festivals and using other coping mechanisms such as prayer, religion and social support are also helpful. It is important to connect with other immigrants as well as people from the host culture by taking part in local activities such as clubs or gyms, attending college courses, or joining a community centre to integrate more smoothly into society. Reaching out to professionals, including physicians, religious leaders, psychologists and community agencies for immigrants can also be helpful.
Finally, one of the most effective ways to deal with intergenerational conflict is to encourage parents and children to listen to each other, to share their struggles and successes in the new country. It is important that parents tell their stories to their children: what their hopes, dreams and struggles were as they decided to immigrate, and what their losses and difficulties were in the process. At the same time, there should be space for children to talk about their struggles growing up in a different culture, coping to fit in and feel accepted for who they are.
Dr. Saleem is a member of Dr. McLean & Associates and has first hand experience as an immigrant to the United States and Canada. She provides counseling around the immigration experience for individuals, parents, and couples. Learn more at www.mcleanpsychologycentre.com or 905-472-6622 ext 24.
Resources
Ontario Psychological Association (OPA)
www.psych.on.ca. Phone: 416-961-5552.
OPA has a referral service for requests for counselling or therapy by language or culture, and for connection with a psychologist with direct awareness of cultural issues.
2600 John Street, Unit 207, Markham, ON L3R 3W3 T: 905.475.5222 F: 905.475.6369
