How to Cope with the
Stress of Losing a Pet
By Cheryl Patterson
To my torment, I realized after I put him to sleep that I wasn’t ready for it – suffering the aftermath
of wishing I’d waited just a little longer to prepare
myself emotionally for the huge loss that would fill my life.
This is how I felt after having to euthanize my beloved dog of 12½ years. The truth is, just like any loss in our lives, we can never really be fully prepared. The loss of our pets hits us hard regardless of what we do or don’t do.
“It is very common to react to the death of your animal companion through feelings such as resistance, shock, disbelief, anger, shame, confusion and guilt,” says the Canadian Centre for Pet Loss Bereavement (CCPLB). They add that feeling a sense of failure, as though we haven’t lived up to our obligations to our pets, is also common.
Add to that the torment we go through during the process of euthanasia – before and afterward. It’s such a difficult process, having to make some of the hardest choices we’ll probably ever have to make, not to mention the uncertainty about whether they were the right decisions - and at the right time. It can be an overwhelming experience.
So here are some tips for coping with the loss of your pet:
1. Give yourself permission to grieve.
Whether you choose to talk about it or write it down, the important thing is to acknowledge your feelings, and go at your own pace. There’s no set length of time to mourn. We’re all different.
2. Stay true to your feelings.
Don’t try to hide them for the sake of others’ inability to understand. It’s similar to having a child – unless you’ve had that experience, you can’t fully understand what it’s like.
3. Surround yourself with supportive people.
Those who have been through the experience may be the most understanding and empathetic of your loss - whether it’s someone you know or a peer support group. But anyone who understands the importance of this loss to you, such as friends, coworkers, and family members can be a great support, too.
4. Find professional support or counseling if you feel you need it -
such as if you feel stuck and that you just can’t get past it, or find that it’s affecting your daily functioning too much.
5. Take your time getting another pet.
“A new pet should be acquired because you are ready to move forward and build a new relationship - rather than looking backward and mourning your loss,” says the Canadian Animal Health Institute (CAHI). You need time to grieve before attempting to build another relationship with a new pet.
6. Know that you’re not alone.
When this life-long commitment ends, realize that many others have experienced the same overwhelming feelings and confusing emotions.
Remind yourself that you did the best you could. It’s easy to get caught up with feelings of guilt and self-defeating
‘what if’ dialogue. All too often we are just too hard on ourselves. Remember that you had the best intentions and resources - monetarily and emotionally - at the time, even though it may be difficult to see it that way while you are still grieving.
Mourning isn’t easy, but it’s necessary to be able to continue living constructive and healthy lives. Our beloved pets, with which we have spent many meaningful years, may be gone, but will never be forgotten.
Sources
1. Canadian Centre for Pet Loss Bereavement, Ontario, British Columbia, Canada, www.petlosssupport.ca
2. Canadian Animal Health Institute (CAHI),
www.cahi-icsa.ca/companion-loss.php
2600 John Street, Unit 207, Markham, ON L3R 3W3 T: 905.475.5222 F: 905.475.6369
